Loyalty Contracts: How Early Attachment Injuries Shape Adult Relational Patterns

Live Interactive Webinar

Instructor: Patricia Gianotti, Psy.D.

Level: Intermediate

CEs: 3

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Attachment injuries leave a long-term, often unconscious impression on the brain, the body and sense of self. This 3 hour seminar examines how the spoken and unspoken rules and conditions of childhood become internalized as repeated patterns called “loyalty contracts”. Loyalty contracts can be conceptualized as an internalized system of beliefs, feelings, reactions and expectations that were created and deeply rooted in early parent-child interactions as well as a person’s socio-cultural context.

Whether a child experiences deprivation, trauma, or harsh/inconsistent parental expectations, most attachment injuries begin prior to language development. The brain’s response to over-or-under-stimulation, fear, or terror are stored in implicit memory. These repeated relational responses then become normalized and/or split off and encoded as unformulated experiences. With language acquisition, the implicit memories are brought into conscious experience and manifest as reflexive patterns that are projected onto the interpersonal landscape as well as the therapeutic relationship.

This workshop will address how these repeated, often dysfunctional, relational patterns are both a reflection of our patients’ early attachment injuries as well as an attempt to rectify or recover from said injuries. Because all insecure attachments leave a residue of fear and mistrust, patients will often present with a fierce need to prove self-worth, coupled with a secret, internalized longing for rescue. Since all unfair loyalty contracts to some degree prohibit the expression of autonomy, there is also a fear of breaking free of the loyalty contract, based on a belief that the child, now adult, isn’t worthy of something better, or the world feels too unsafe, or there is a deep conviction that no one can really be trusted.

To better understand how these conflicting tensions play out in terms of defense patterns and symptom presentation, participants will be introduced to three different types of characterological coping strategies. Each presents a picture of how individuals learn to cope with and compensate for early attachment injuries. The outcome of these strategies, as they manifest with our clients in adulthood will be discussed from both an intrapsychic and relational vantage point. We will explore how these compulsive-driven behavioral “solutions” are not sustainable and eventually result in symptom breakthrough as well as feelings of shame, withdrawal or retaliation. Case illustrations will also be provided to demonstrate how to break the grip of unfair loyalty contracts and ameliorate negative reenactments.